Friday, May 18, 2012

Cowboy Erotica...Not for everyone

So this week Kami and I decided to try out cowboy erotica. I read a blurb and goodreads review of book 2 of this particular series and thought OMG that is going to be freakin hilarious. I then sent a recommend on over to Kami and here are our thoughts on the 1st two books by Lorelei James
Kami's Review:  4 Stars
Eh Lori what can I say, I kinda enjoyed this book. Maybe this one was better than the one you read, I dunno.
I get the whole being in control thing, but some of this book I think took it a little far. Several times I think I would have punched Colby in the nose, and then kneed him in the balls. Maybe I am just not the type of person to be all submissive so I cant quite grasp the authors take on this.
Overall it was a decent book. Very explicit language and sex scenes. Not for the faint hearted or those easily offended. Really dont read this book if you expect warm fuzzies, only to leave a scathing review after it dont meet your expectations. I think the title speaks for itself.


Lori's Review: 2 Stars
"Warning: this book contains: explicit sex nine ways 'til Sunday – including menage a trois, inventive use of ropes, naughty girls getting spanked, stubborn men getting hog-tied, graphic language and whoo-wee! hot nekkid cowboy on cowboy action".
With a warning like that how can I not give this book a try...I can tell. It's going to bring the LOLs!
Ugh! Really this book is just Ugh! I have got to give up the erotica is hilarious phase I am going through. At the end of the day it is just not for me. This book follows two couples as they discover each other. I feel like the author is trying to make the couples seem like they are falling in love...I can't really tell through all the crude country dialouge though. I keep expecting the sex scenes to get really naughty but really they are super tame. They must seem naughty to middle aged house wives that have only experienced one or two positions. I know 'anal' is in...but the lady? writing this has a serious fascination with butt sex.
Mostly this book just annoyed the shit out of me. The stupid cowboy dialect, the dumbass Lakota stereotype, the stupid controlling men always telling the women what to do, the stupid sex discriptions. Don't believe me here take a gander at this passage:

'For the first time in several minutes Macie realized they were out in the thick of a thunder and rainstorm. (she is terrified of them dear, reader).
Carter sensed the moment she froze up. "Look at me, not the sky. Think about how crazy it's makin' me to taste you. Think about how hard I'm gonna fuck you right after you come all over my face. It's right there, darlin', take it." (HUH take what?) He did some different nibbling thing (really?!? that's your description? a thing that he did with his mouth?) on her clit that made her hips buck like she was riding a wild bronc.' LOL instead of, you know, his face...
I should mention at this point they are on the muddy ass ground. Her legs over his shoulders with only her head and shoulder blades touching the ground. Kinda hard to look into his face.

This is how Macie's dad, Cash, likes to get down with the lady that owns the farm:
'He spanked her until every inch of her butt bore the mark of his hand.
His harsh beathing reverberated in the humid space as a lover's whisper. She felt his fingers circling her opening, spreading her wide for him and finally the hot blunt tip of his cock was poised at her entrance.
Gemma held her breath for that first hard, deep thrust.
She wasn't expecting the icy cold water he dumped over her burning ass. She screamed. (What the fuck?--- Seriously what an asshole. I'm pretty sure I would have dumped ice cold water on his dick...or at least put some IcyHot on it).
After he's finished he licks her spine. "See? I think you smell good. You taste good too. Sorta like my own personal salt lick, eh?'

Yep that's what I want to be compared to...a giant block of salt that cows lick...

Later in the book Cash is telling his daughter about his parents and his life on the rez. Macie never saw her Dad growing up. Guess what? You guessed it both his parents died of alcohol related deaths. No he couldn't be one of those kids from the rez with a nice family that tries to raise him right. He had to be one of the two extremes that all people think Indians come from. Either from an alcoholic family or a super traditional family that is all about being super Natives. Ugh. But that's just me. I have a degree in Native American studies and have Native friends that are, you know, normal.
If you like cowboys, romance and mildly experiemental sex than this book is for you. As for me it just wasn't my cup of tea.


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