Saturday, May 26, 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey ~ Kami's Review

3 Stars
I have finally read this and I am not traumatized, lol. While the writing was atrocious the story was not too bad. The writing was so repetitive. My inner goddess, my subconscious, his scorching grey eyes, biting my lip, quirking his lips, blushing, flushing, etc etc. If you took out all of these phrases from the whole book, it would have made it significantly less pages. I found it incredibly annoying.

Here is a quote from a review I read on Amazon by DS from LA about how many times all these were said:Direct Link

According to my Kindle search function, characters roll their eyes 41 times, Ana bites her lip 35 times, Christian's lips "quirk up" 16 times, Christian "cocks his head to one side" 17 times, characters "purse" their lips 15 times, and characters raise their eyebrows a whopping 50 times. Add to that 80 references to Ana's anthropomorphic "subconscious" (which also rolls its eyes and purses its lips, by the way), 58 references to Ana's "inner goddess," and 92 repetitions of Ana saying some form of "oh crap" (which, depending on the severity of the circumstances, can be intensified to "holy crap," "double crap," or the ultimate "triple crap").
I have discovered that Ana says "Jeez" 81 times and "oh my" 72 times. She "blushes" or "flushes" 125 times, including 13 that are "scarlet," 6 that are "crimson," and one that is "stars and stripes red." (I can't even imagine.) Ana "peeks up" at Christian 13 times, and there are 9 references to Christian's "hooded eyes," 7 to his "long index finger," and 25 to how "hot" he is (including four recurrences of the epic declarative sentence "He's so freaking hot"). Christian's "mouth presses into a hard line" 10 times. Characters "murmur" 199 times and "whisper" 195 times (doesn't anyone just talk?), "clamber" on/in/out of things 21 times, and "smirk" 34 times. Christian and Ana also "gasp" 46 times and experience 18 "breath hitches," suggesting a need for prompt intervention by paramedics. Finally, in a remarkable bit of symmetry, our hero and heroine exchange 124 "grins" and 124 "frowns"... which, by the way, seems an awful lot of frowning for a woman who experiences "intense," "body-shattering," "delicious," "violent," "all-consuming," "turbulent," "agonizing" and "exhausting" orgasms on just about every page.

The Bad
What I really didnt like was the relationship with Grey and Ana. She is literally terrified of him. The whole book she is tense, cant relax around him, scared to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing else she get punished. His mood swings are over the top. One minute he is all nice and loving, the next he is pissed off with "cold uncaring eyes". She is constantly walking on eggshells around him. This is not, in any way shape or form a 'healthy' relationship.
Ana is weak, and I hate that in a character. She has her moments of standing up to him, but mostly she is just nauseatingly weak. Christian basically uses word play and manipulation to get anything he wants and she is too ignorant to see it.
Grey has a major obsession with food, and making Ana eat. I wanted to stab him with a fork everytime he demanded she eat.

The Good
The emails! Really, this was the best part of the whole book. I loved the emails. Without them this book would have probably gotten 1 star.

The whole issue of him being a stalker, while valid, didnt bother me too much. I didnt think it was out of control. Some was cute. The fact that she wanted it, made it okay. He wasnt some random guy, she is madly in love with him. Maybe that is just me though, I dunno.

I will be reading the other 2 books in this trilogy, but I am not really excited about them.
Book was okay, but I am not in love with it.


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